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10 Books That Will Save You Before Marriage: Real Talk and Hard Lessons for Every Nigerian

  10 Books That Will Save You Before Marriage: Real Talk and Hard Lessons for Every Nigerian

Alright, so you're thinking about marriage. Maybe it's the mommy and daddy pressure, or maybe it's that Instagram perfect love story you keep seeing everywhere—two people in matching Aso-Ebi living their “happily ever after.” But real talk: marriage isn’t a fairy tale. If there’s one thing I wish I knew before tying the knot, it’s that no amount of pepper dem wedding videos can prepare you for the reality of life together.

So, if you want to dive into marriage with eyes wide open (and keep a bit of sanity in the process), then these 10 books are your new best friends. Each of them gives you insights that can literally save your future, your money, and your mental health.

Oh, and before we jump into it, let me give a shoutout to 7hubent Tech, a massive free advertising and business networking platform on WhatsApp in Nigeria with over 290,000 daily views. Trust me, if you're looking to promote a business, meet people, or join groups that might just give you tips on these life matters, 7hubent Tech is the plug. Find them on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at @7hubent or hit them up on WhatsApp at 09077131487.

 1. "Before You Say I Do" by H. Norman Wright

The Title Says It All, Abi?

Let’s start with a classic. This book isn't just for people about to wed; it's for anyone even thinking about marrying someday. It covers key topics like communication styles, dealing with baggage, and what happens when the “honeymoon phase” ends. Wright gives real-life examples (no sugarcoating here) of what can go wrong and how to avoid it.

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Helps you understand if you’re truly compatible.

- Teaches you how to discuss the hard stuff before it’s too late.

 2. "Boundaries in Marriage" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Boundary na security fence o!

Sometimes, in Nigerian culture, we’re taught that marriage means "two people becoming one" to the point of losing individual identity. But this book tells you it's okay to have your space and your boundaries. Boundaries keep the marriage strong, and this book will teach you how to set them without guilt or shame.

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Teaches you the importance of self-respect in marriage.

- Helps you avoid resentment by balancing love with boundaries.

 3. "Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married" by Gary Chapman

The Truth Bombs You Wish You Heard

Written by the man who gave us The 5 Love Languages, this book spills all the truths you rarely hear in premarital counseling sessions. Expect some aha moments here, especially if you've ever believed in love at first sight or that “everything changes after marriage.”

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- It’s like getting advice from a wise uncle who’s been there.

- Teaches you the real difference between love and compatibility.

 4. "The Meaning of Marriage" by Timothy Keller

Marriage Is Not Just Love and Romance—It’s Work, O!

Keller’s approach will give you a grounded view of what marriage is truly meant to be. Based on years of counseling experience, this book unpacks how people can grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally through marriage. It’s deep but practical.

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Gives a perspective on marriage as a place of growth.

- Balances reality and faith, making it relatable to us Nigerians.

 5. "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas

What If Marriage Is More About Holiness Than Happiness?

This is not your “marriage advice” book—Gary Thomas takes marriage into a whole new dimension, focusing on how it can shape you into a better person. He challenges the idea that marriage is only for happiness; he says it’s also for growing you.

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Offers a deep perspective on the purpose of marriage.

- Helps you see marriage beyond surface-level romance.

 6. "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

Because Not Everyone Understands ‘I Love You’ the Same Way

It’s an oldie but a goodie! This book teaches you that “I love you” doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. You’ll learn how to make your partner feel loved in ways that resonate with them. If you’ve ever heard “you don’t show me love” and thought, “but I am!” then you need this book.

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Teaches you how to communicate love effectively.

- Helps you understand the small ways love is shown and received.

  10 Books That Will Save You Before Marriage: Real Talk and Hard Lessons for Every Nigerian

 7. "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" by John Gray

Understanding Men and Women Are Different—Oh So Different!

Gray does a great job of breaking down the differences in how men and women communicate, think, and act. Trust me, this is something to understand before marriage so you don’t feel like you’re from different planets (because you kind of are).

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Makes it easier to navigate gender differences.

- Helps to reduce misunderstandings that come from unrealistic expectations.

 8. "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

She Needs Love, He Needs Respect: No Be Joke

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood or wondered why the same argument keeps coming up, this book is for you. Dr. Eggerichs explains the “crazy cycle” that couples get into when women don’t feel loved, and men don’t feel respected. It’s a simple concept, but it will change the way you approach conflicts.

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Gives insights into the respect-love dynamics in marriage.

- Helps you stop repeating the same arguments over and over.

  10 Books That Will Save You Before Marriage: Real Talk and Hard Lessons for Every Nigerian

 9. "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman

Research-Backed Advice on Love and Relationships

Gottman is a genius in relationship psychology, and his research shows you how to nurture your marriage in small but consistent ways. His principles are actionable, so it’s not just theory—you’ll get tools you can use.

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Proven research that actually works.

- Practical tips for building a strong, lasting marriage.

 10. "I Wish Someone Had Told Me" by Florence Given

Real Talk, No Sugar Coating

This book feels like having that brutally honest conversation with your big sister. Florence covers all the things you won’t hear in the movies about what it takes to keep a marriage strong. It’s as real as it gets!

Why It’s a Life-Saver:

- Direct advice that’s as refreshing as it is honest.

- Empowers you to see marriage for what it really is, not just the Instagram version.

 My Personal Journey: How These Books Opened My Eyes

Let me tell you, I started out thinking I had marriage all figured out. I thought I just needed to find “the one” and everything would magically fall into place. But these books were like a slap of reality (the good kind). From setting boundaries to understanding the importance of respect, each book taught me something I hadn’t considered. It’s like they took me on a pre-marriage boot camp.

And you know what? That’s where 7hubent Tech came in handy. I joined a few WhatsApp groups through them, and I was able to discuss some of the things I was reading with other people. I got real advice from married friends, single friends, and even the “uncles and aunties” who’d been through it all. Just a heads-up: If you’re considering marriage, 7hubent Tech’s groups are a treasure trove of practical life wisdom.

 FAQs

Q: Can these books really prepare me for marriage?  

A: They’re not a magic cure, but they can open your eyes to things you may not have thought about. They help you start marriage with a mature, grounded mindset.

Q: How can I join 7hubent Tech?  

A: 7hubent Tech is on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at @7hubent, or you can join their WhatsApp groups by messaging 09077131487. It’s a free way to network and learn from other Nigerians.

Q: Are these books helpful even if I’m not yet engaged?  

A: Absolutely! It’s even better to read them before you’re seriously involved so you can approach dating (and eventually marriage) with a realistic perspective.

 In Conclusion

Marriage isn’t just Aso-Ebi, cute pictures, or romantic dinners. It’s a lifelong commitment that requires tools and a strong foundation to make it work. If you’re serious about getting it right, pick up these books, join 7hubent Tech’s network, and start building a marriage that can withstand whatever life throws at it.

What do you think? Have you read any of these books, or do you have other suggestions? Drop your thoughts in the comments or share this with friends who might be considering marriage.